Book Summary: Rewire, Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits Summary

Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits Summary

Learn How Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self Destructive Behavior in 10 minutes. Doctor Richard O’Connor’s  life changing book summarized


Bad habits die hard !!!


1. List of self destructive behavior:

  • Internet addiction
  • Overeating
  • Social isolation
  • Gambling
  • Obvious lying
  • Not exercising
  • Self-sacrificing gift giving
  • Overworking
  • Suicidal gestures
  • Anorexia/bulimia
  • Inability to express yourself
  • Video game and sports addictions
  • Stealing and kleptomania
  • Inability to prioritize—too many balls in the air
  • Attraction to the wrong people
  • Avoiding the chance to express your talents
  • Staying in bad situations—jobs, relationships
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Passive-aggressive behavior
  • Not managing money; accruing debt and not saving
  • Self-dosing your medications
  • Being cruel, thoughtless, selfish
  • Self-mutilation
  • Chronic disorganization
  • Foolish pride
  • Avoiding the spotlight
  • Perfectionism
  • Can’t get started job hunting
  • Sycophancy; manipulating to gain affection
  • Excessively high standards (for self or
  • others)
  • Cheating, embezzlement
  • Procrastination
  • Neglecting your health
  • Substance abuse
  • Always late
  • Inconsiderate
  • Poor sleep habits
  • Not paying attention
  • Unable to relax
  • Smoking
  • Won’t ask for help
  • Suffering in silence
  • Fashion addiction
  • Sexual promiscuity; casual sex without a
  • relationship
  • Picking hopeless fights with authority
  • Too much television
  • Unassertive behavior
  • Excessive risk taking
  • Suicide
  • Depressed shopping
  • Computer game addiction
  • Being needy, clingy
  • Obsessive worrying
  • Sex addiction
  • Playing the martyr
  • Acting on dares
  • Dangerous driving
  • Shoplifting
  • Sexual degradation
  • Spoiling things just when they’re going well
  • Stubbornly persisting beyond common sense
  • Hoarding

2. Changing bad habit isn’t easy because bad habit keeps sucking you back

3. Most of the problem you have, have been with you since childhood or teenager

4. We have a automatic self which is a little dumb and lazy

5. Our automatic self make false assumption about ourselves and the world

6. We have an unconscious self with negative repressed feelings that affect our automatic self

7. Most confident and happy people are slightly delusional:

  • They think they are better than other people.
  • They think they are better drivers, better lovers etc..
  • They believe they are healthier and will live longer

8. We have a lot of self serving biased

9. Humans have a long list of cognitive biases

  • We distort reality so we are happier
  • We generalize from our observation
  • Having wrong assumptions of the world
  • We see what we want to see

10. People have many bad paradigms:

  • Mistrust & abuse, always see betrayal and abuse in the world, never see the goodness in the world. They have a quick temper, anxious & depressive
  • Dependence, afraid of the world, fearful, look for others to depend on, may rely on drugs to relief failure, see the world as an impossible place, anxious, self sabotaging
  • Perfectionist, see other’s as competitors, don’t see the value of trying and not succeed
  • Paranoid, always see threat to safety, security, self esteem

11. People are trap in their own assumptions

  • We only see things that supports our assumption
  • Certainty is just a feeling, we could be wrong and we would probably forget it
  • Anything that require most cost and time will be much valuable in our eyes
  • We have a strong desire to be consistent

12. People are willing to do self destructive things to look good

13. We tend to mimic the attitudes of people around us

14. We are more likely to imitate high status people

15. We are influence by what we watch and read

16. We distort our memories and create memories that feel good to us

17. We over under estimate the time we need to finish our work

“What’s one more cookie ? one more fries ?”

18. We judge ourselves by intention and others by their action

19. Confirmation bias = we remember evidence that confirms our beliefs

20. What the hell effect = It’s already 4pm, no point doing it now

21. The licensing effect = Thinking that if you are dieting you don’t have to exercise

22. No matter how much you have now, you would still want more

23. People are afraid to make a decision when they have more choices

24. We make better decision when well fed and well rested

25. Fear, anger, guilt, shame, envy & resentment will lead to destructive behavior

26. Symptoms of fear are:

  • Perfectionism
  • Procrastination
  • Disorganization
  • Inability to prioritize or make decisions
  • Refusal to ask for help
  • Self Sabotage
  • Shyness, social anxiety
  • Inability to commit
  • Inability to reciprocate
  • Making ourselves unattractive
  • Choosing partners or jobs that don’t challenge us

27. Roots of fear goes back to childhood where you feel:

  • unloved
  • unsafe
  • abandoned
  • unable

28. Get familiar with your fears and understand why and move pass it:

  • We get into self denial of our own mistakes
  • We blame other people instead of ourselves
  • Why you lose your job?
  • Why you don’t get ahead?

29. Confront your fears, imagined what’s the worst that could happen

30. Clutter is associated with procrastination

“Distraction is procrastination”

31. Eliminate distracting cues

32. Remove temptations and prevent interruptions

33. Don’t wait to feel motivated to start work

34. When you start work, motivations will follow

35. Reward yourself when you complete work

36. Avoiding conflict makes you feel guilty and ashamed for not standing up for yourself

37. Always try to tell the truth without hurting people

38. Be honest with yourself and your feelings

39. Fear dominated our lives:

  • Fear change our assumption of the world and we fell guilty about this believe
  • Setting too high standards for yourself will make you rebel against yourself
  • Procrastination, distraction, alcohol and drugs are signs of your own rebellion
  • Violence and rage are reaction to your self esteem being threatened
  • Anger is a defense against shame
  • Most nice guys or girls appear nice because they can’t express their rage.
  • They express their rage passively and indirectly
  • Nice guys are dishonest and can’t initiate real intimacy

40. Signs of you consoling yourself for not achieving your high standard:

  • Overeating
  • Gambling
  • Drugs & alcohol
  • Overspending
  • Depressed shopping
  • Internet addiction
  • Impulsive destructive sex

41. Confront your inner critics, list our all the things that you don’t like about yourself and solve the issue

42. Some people think they are special, they are entitled to act certain way due to their life circumstances

43. Signs of Entitled people:

  • overindulge
  • overspend
  • Don’t respect authorities
  • Abuse relationships
  • Feel they should receive special treatment due to their illness & disability

44. Don’t mistaken admiration for love

45. Love need to be earn by giving love

46. Stop criticizing, judging and hating yourself

“Childhood traumas are the main causes of adult’s destructive behavior”

47. Everytime you do something, it’s more likely you’ll do it again

48. Happiness is not our normal state, to feel good you need to take action

49. Optimistic and pessimism are self fulfilling prophecy

50 .Reasons To Stop watching television:

  • TV distort your reality
  • TV makes you overestimate income of real people and underestimate your own
  • TV is full of drama, violence, infidelity and amoral behavior which makes you overestimate the frequency of these things in real life

51. Stop watching lives go buy and start taking actions:

  • Action helps you think and give you new perspective
  • Action makes you feel better about yourself
  • Action brings good luck
  • Action helps your mobilize your feelings
  • Action reveals your resistance

52. Happiness Cheats:

  • Imagine putting all your troubles in a pile on the floor next to your bed when you crawl in to sleep
  • Think about 3 good things that happen during the day
  • Focus on the feelings you get from these things, do you feel warm, a smile on your face, pleasant tingling in your head..etc
  • Visualize neurons in your brain forming happiness circuits

“Trying too hard to relax, to be happy will guarantee failure. Imagine trying to walk when you already know how to walk”

53. We are constantly under stress because:

  • Too much stimulation
  • Not enough security
  • Searching for meaning in life

54. What is real happiness ? :

  • The ability to experience joy when good things happen
  • The ability to experience satisfaction when you’ve accomplished something
  • The relative absence of misery
  • A sense of meaning and purpose

55.Why relationships makes us happier ? :

  • Add meaning and purpose to our lives
  • Help us to be more creative
  • Challenges our assumption
  • Stop us from our destructive behavior
  • Give us people to play with
  • Gives us a sense of structure and belonging
  • A reliable source of dopamine and feel good source

56. Show compassion by seeing everyone in this world is no better or worse than you

57. Overcome addiction by admitting you are addicted and start confronting them

58. Materialism destroy happiness

59. The more you practice something the easier it becomes

60. Nobody’s perfect, sometimes we all procrastinate and break our diets but we have to try our best.

Rewire and change your brain summarized.  Here’s a swell summary for a book on achieving high performance habits


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